


Not Exactly Canonized

by waterofthemoon



Series: Name That Author/Guess The Author Challenge Fills [20]
Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Blasphemy, Catholicism, Fluff, Historical Inaccuracy, Humor, Impersonation, M/M, One Shot, Pre-Relationship, The Arrangement (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-18 00:27:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29234538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waterofthemoon/pseuds/waterofthemoon
Summary: Crowley makes a splashy entrance to a small village parish with his new impersonation ploy. Aziraphale can't say he approves.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: Name That Author/Guess The Author Challenge Fills [20]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1805698
Comments: 5
Kudos: 21
Collections: SOSH - Guess the Author #12 “Saints"





	Not Exactly Canonized

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Guess The Author round 12 in the Soft Omens Snuggle House Discord! The prompt was saints, and the first lines of this smacked me over the head at like 1 am when I was supposed to be doing other things (like sleeping).

"Crowley, what on Earth," Aziraphale snaps. "You're posing as a saint?"

Crowley does a little spin in his saint's garb. Bit gaudy, one thinks. Or, at least, Aziraphale thinks, and that should count for something. "Yeah, great, isn't it?"

"How does that even work?" Crowley looks alive enough to him, and not particularly holy, gilded white robes aside. Not that any real saints ever wore those, as most of them were far too busy to be concerned with the state of their clothing. "You haven't exactly been martyred. Or demonstrated a life of heroic virtue."

Aziraphale considers the possibility that Crowley might have gotten himself discorporated by the locals, then decided to come back and haunt the area, but given Crowley's character, it doesn't seem likely. No, it's probably some sort of scheme of his.

"Done enough blessings for you, haven't I?" Crowley looks affronted. "Anyway, it was easy. I just told 'em who I was. Used some minor saint or other's name, not important." Crowley waves an impatient hand. "Did a few miracles to show off. They like seeing the miracles, these guys. The point is, I'm gonna let them host a feast in my honor, and then—"

He beckons with one finger, and Aziraphale, against his own stern objections, leans in a little closer to hear. "Then I'm gonna let them show me around, and _then_ I'm gonna point out all the hypocrisy going on in their parish."

"And you think this is the best way to do it? This is—this is—" Aziraphale doesn't know how to articulate what it is, but he's sure it's not anything good, not when the church is involved. Aziraphale claims the Catholics about as much as Crowley throws his lot in with Satanists, but even so, he feels he ought to do something.

"Oh, and give their head dude a little nudge, obviously," Crowley continues, not sounding too happy about that part. "He's mostly there already, don't even know why they bothered sending me."

That, Aziraphale can't argue with; he's seen the bishop's corruption beginning to run rampant through the community. He himself has tried to redirect the man's thoughts or at least mitigate the damage of his actions, to no avail. Still…

"What are you going to do when they want to send you into their churches? Their holy sites?"

Crowley shudders at the thought. "Pretend to have an allergy?" he offers. "Honestly, I was hoping to get out of here before it even became an issue. In and out, that's me."

It isn't, and they both know it. Aziraphale looks into Crowley's hopeful face, glances down at his ridiculous costume, and grumbles a little to himself.

"Well, as it just so happens, I'm working in this area these days," Aziraphale says. "I know the locals. I could introduce you to people on a personal level, and we could both get some real work done—but only if you take that thing off. Honestly."

Crowley grins. "Now who's being saintlike?"


End file.
